From the diary of a learning mind..

After spending eight long years at a leading professional services firm, I had finally started to feel like I’d become more than just a cog in their business wheel. I had moved up the food chain and established an identity of my own at work. I had become a “somebody” that people knew at my workplace. I was finally on a career trajectory that I had desired and worked hard for. I was successful, learning new things, and feeling creatively challenged at a place that had begun feeling like home. Until a curveball came my way!

I received a job offer which I had wanted for many years. This new opportunity gave me the option to switch career tracks and move to something I had always wanted to try. For over a decade now, I had been curious and fascinated with what consulting was and this was my chance to finally give it a try. It was a bold play because it would mean that I would have to give up a comfortable life and perceivably promising career path. Additionally, I would have to be OK with starting from scratch in this new place. I remember one of my mentors telling me that life is a jungle gym and allowing myself to being an agile careerist would give me the ability to explore and grow in new directions. It would have to be an experiment but a good one, I thought! I decided to move forward and take the plunge.

This blog post is about my recent career change journey and personal reflections around why I think change is important. As such, it is based purely on my personal thoughts and feelings.

1. Learning happens out of comfort zone. After using tools, systems, business processes and cultural habits at one place for so long (eight years is LONG!!), I couldn’t believe how immune I had become to new technology! Even for someone who is supposedly a change-maker and was well versed with popular changing trends, et al., actually experiencing that change was painful. Getting used to different technology (Google to Microsoft), behavioral norms, and ways of working was way tougher than I had anticipated. My learning curve was steep, as I continued to learn and do things at the same time. I’ve started to be honest and give stakeholders a heads-up that I am new and don’t know enough about how things are done around here. People are generally nice and their expectations change the moment I make them aware of my vulnerability. Of course, I have to also actively keep making mental (and physical) notes of how to do things, so that the next time around, the whole lifecycle is easier.
2. Be OK with ambiguity. If there is any profession where one can learn to deal with the unknowns well, Management Consulting is definitely one of the top on that list. Scope of things can change very quickly and there are times we may not know enough about what comes next. Literally. For someone who is almost anal-retentive about planning and organization, I’ve had a very difficult time not knowing enough about the next day and still being expected to deliver. I’ve learned that things will not always be in my control or go as planned. I just have to be OK with it. I’ve learned to improvise and make the best use of available resources (e.g., time, money, knowledge, experience, anything..) in that moment. I’m learning to “pivot”.. and flex around to deliver what is needed.
3. Change can be anxiety provoking. Understanding that anxiety is a reaction to the situation and not the situation, per se, is helpful. This means that I might not be able to control the situation I am thrown in, but I can choose to control my response to the situation. Being able to live with my anxieties around day to day work issues, deliverable expectations, workload, work-life balance is another beneficial aid. I use tactics like deep breathing, meditation, exercise, opening up in front of my support system, or simply stepping away from work to manage my anxiety. Despite following a self-care regimen, I’ve still had weight-gain, fluctuating blood pressure issues, anxiety attacks, and depressive episodes, none of which should be taken less seriously. Consultants often tend to ignore mental and physical health issues which, if left unchecked, can be very dangerous. Please focus on your health and wellbeing. Most companies offer great wellbeing benefits and tapping into those is highly recommended.
4. Work-life balance is a challenge but there are ways to juggle around it. For a newbie like me, the big question is why is consulting so different? The answer that I’ve discovered so far is that there is the pressure of getting work done, plus delivering it with the finesse of a consultant! It means that work has to be delivered at lightning fast speed, be more than perfect in an approach that it is ahead of client expectations and must look impressive when presented on those slides. Given the stressors that I just described, the long-hours naturally build up. There is an implicit expectation that a consultant must keep all their work demands ahead of their personal life. In all honesty, I don’t know how much truth there is to it, but clearly there are people who thrive in this profession and spend their whole lives doing just this. Happily! One may get creative around figuring out how to get work done, while still juggling personal lives, but it is an art which (perhaps) I have not mastered yet.
5. In (real) life, there are no manuals or process guides, at least not always! As mentioned above, most of my learning happened on-the-job. I was pretty much thrown in the ocean in my first week and expected to stay afloat. Not only did I swim but I think I made it OK! After finishing the marathon, the marathoner typically remembers the runner’s high. That doesn’t mean there are no other emotions felt throughout the journey. Just because I feel triumphant now, I cannot forget about the pain, loss, embarrassment, hopelessness, or exhaustion that I also experienced. Success definitely tastes sweeter after shedding all the tears of struggle and hard work, but it’s a package deal.
6. Feedback is a privilege, not an entitlement. I once heard a successful leader (Melody Hobson on Adam Grant’s Taken For Granted) talk about viewing feedback as finding a diamond in the rough. It’s about using feedback in a way that one can accurately identify the right developmental areas to focus on and not fixate on every word of the feedback provided. Even if feedback comes to us from people we don’t like or care for, it can still be valuable and we must use it to our advantage. Feedback is a privilege, not an entitlement and we must not take it for granted. It’s important to remember that the intention behind providing feedback is solely developmental and that is all that should matter. Sometimes, it helps to dissociate feedback from the person who provided it or how they conveyed it, (especially when we don’t like the person). The reason I’m sharing all this is because I’ve been made to feel very small with how feedback was given to me. It’s broken me down but I’m now learning to develop a thicker skin, so I don’t let insignificant people affect me with their corroding words. I’ve also learned to process feedback in a fashion that I just use selective attention to pick and choose the parts that help me improve, not worry about the how, what, where.. of the feedback process or the person who provided it. It’s immaterial!

So far, my learnings and reflections have enabled me to survive, maybe even starting to thrive a little. Have I learned it all? Absolutely not! It’s a teensy start for me, but it does make me wonder that if I can learn so much from one change experience in less than six months, then imagine the scope of potential learning if I repeated this experiment again or more frequently?! Going through change has been very difficult for sure but has also given me a great reality check around my standing against popular market and industry trends, workplace expectations, and my own learning acumen. It’s made me more humble and appreciative of keeping my infinite learning spirit high. It reminds me of these powerful lyrics from this beautiful song..

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller..

..Thanks to you I got a new thing started
Thanks to you I’m not the broken-hearted
Thanks to you I’m finally thinking ’bout me
You know in the end the day to left was just my beginning
In the end..”

~Kelly Clarkson

Note: All views expressed above are my own and do not represent any entity with which I have been, am, or will be affiliated with in future.